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Some things make sense as you get a few gray hairs, experience a bit of life, and learn that it is not all black and white. It even makes sense that most of life will not make sense. We won’t figure it all out. The sum of what we produce may not add up to what we put in. When I think about this and about loss, I think about reciprocation.

When I was less mature, reciprocation meant getting back exactly what I put in. Over time, I learned that it’s giving and not expecting, but trusting that there will be a mutual (agreeable) exchange. When you expect there is usually a reason, justification, or value for what we receive, i.e. expecting a check for a full day of work. And when what we give is not returned in the same form, manner, and time that we expect, we react unfavorably. However, in a reciprocal non-transactional relationship (that means no assumptions or expectations) with life, you’re not hoping or expecting. You know the return is automatic.

It may not come in the same form or from the same person. They may pay it forward to someone else. It may not happen immediately. Either way, it’s reciprocity. It’s trusting, giving and receiving, minus any expectations one may have.

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